The topic of ‘sleep divorce’ is one that has gained momentum over the past few years. Research shows that one in five Brits don’t get enough shut eye each night, and 69% of people with sleep issues have yet to seek support from a healthcare professional. Although it’s not uncommon for older adults to sleep separately, the idea is somewhat taboo for younger couples.
Sleep expert Ashley Hainsworth from Bed Kingdom has listed the pros and cons of a ‘sleep divorce’ and offered some advice for partners struggling to get a good night’s rest.
What is a ‘sleep divorce’?
A ‘sleep divorce’ is when a couple decides to sleep in separate beds, with the aim of improving sleep quality. There are several reasons as to why a couple might choose to sleep apart, such as pregnancy, different sleep schedules, and snoring.
What are the benefits of a ‘sleep divorce’?
Although a ‘sleep divorce’ sounds like a drastic option, Ashley claims there are a number of benefits for couples sleeping apart.
- Better sleep – the biggest and most obvious benefit is that it can improve your quality of sleep. If your partner tosses and turns throughout the night keeping you awake, having your own space will allow you to drift off easier, and stay asleep longer.
- Improved relationship – a ‘sleep divorce’ might seem counter-productive, but Ashley notes that couples who sleep separately often see an improvement in intimacy and their relationship overall. When you’re no longer sleep-deprived and angry at the other person for keeping you awake, you’re more likely to feel connected and affectionate towards your partner.
- Boosted overall health – it’s no secret that getting enough good quality sleep can aid in helping a range of health conditions. It can improve your immune system, relieve stress and anxiety, and can also help with weight loss as it regulates hunger hormones, making you feel less hungry and more satisfied.
Are there any cons?
While a ‘sleep divorce’ can certainly improve couple’s lives, Ashley stresses that it may not be a solution for everyone.
- Damaged sex life – if getting into bed each night is the only time you and your partner are intimate, sleeping separately can make it harder for these moments to occur. Ashley suggests spending some time together before you intend to sleep or come up with some creative ways to express your intimacy outside of the bedroom.
- Loneliness – for those used to sleeping next to someone, that sudden change can increase feelings of loneliness. Ashley advises making sure you communicate with your partner about these feelings, and make sure you’re spending quality time with them before you head to bed.
- Economic factors – in order to have a ‘sleep divorce’ you need, at minimum, to have separate beds. If snoring or different sleep schedules are the issue, you may even need separate rooms, which is a luxury that not everyone will be able to afford.
Is a ‘sleep divorce’ right for us?
Ashley claims that it’s going to be down to individual couples to decide if a ‘sleep divorce’ will work. The Bed Kingdom expert said: “If you and your partner are struggling to get a good night’s sleep, then a ‘sleep divorce’ might be an option for you, provided you have the means to do it.
“With all changes in a relationship, it’s important to keep lines of communication open throughout the process, and make sure that you’re both happy about the situation.
“If you don’t want a ‘sleep divorce’, but are still having issues, there are other options for you to explore. Consider buying ear plugs or using a white noise machine to drown out disturbing sounds such as snoring. Investing in a bigger bed rather than separate beds might be a better solution, or you can also try using separate bedding and different sleeping positions.
“Remember – a ‘sleep divorce’ doesn’t have to be permanent either. You can try it for a few days to see if it works, or you could implement it a couple of days a week, a particularly effective solution for those with different work schedules some of the time.”
